I just have to share this story. So this morning I have a fully loaded scheduled day. Drop my kid off at school at 8.15am, drive to the Woolies (yes yes I still go there, deal with it), do some quick morning Whatsapp’s in the car while I wait for 9am to arrive. 9am-9.20am – quick Woolies shop, then back home to get into my work day by 10am, which I have incrementally scheduled into bite-sized chunks (thanks Marie Forleo) yet here I sit typing this blog post because I cannot even deal with negative people anymore.
But… then I saw a sale.
And it was 40% off. On bikinis! So in I go… and hello lovely friendly face lady who helped me find 2 beautiful bra’s a few months back. How have you been?
Well… she is kind and content, but doesn’t seem very joyous. What’s up lovely friendly face lady?
Her boss is immigrating to the UK as her husband got a great offer, so she is selling the business. And this is her passion. She loves what she does so much and doesn’t know what she’s going to do now. But she does believe when one door closes another door opens and things will work out for her.
“Why don’t you buy the shop?” I ask while I browse the bikinis. “Well she has offered it to me at a very good deal but I don’t have the money.”
“So you just need the money?” I ask, seeing a little light switch on inside her when she imagined the possibility of owning the shop. And we start chatting.
So it turns out, this lady is:
- A qualified aromatherapist
- A qualified beautician
- A specialist bra fitter – (and let me tell you how awesome she is at this job!)
- Has studied anatomy and physiology but didn’t get the degree because she didn’t want to attend an autopsy (’nuff said!)
- Has a daughter who is a yoga coach and has hundreds of female clients
- Has a lovely energy so people love her
- Has a massive customer base who would stay with her
But… over the last few weeks she has started telling people the news of her boss immigrating and this has been their response:
- Oh no! What are you going to do now?
- This is South Africa, there are no jobs you know
- She wants to sell you the business? That’s a terrible idea, have you seen what’s happening in this country?
- Never get into retail, it will eat you alive!
- It’s the worst time to start a business, specially in this country
- And I can’t even remember the rest because when I hear negative crap it goes in one ear and out the other, like it should.
I’m like… Ummm….!*$%??? I couldn’t.
I could not just buy my swimwear at 40% off and let this woman continue with her day in this mood.
“This is awesome!” I tell the lovely friendly faced lady. “You could totally turn this into something amazing. Tell me about the beautician and aromatherapy side.” I ask. She starts, “Well, you’d never say I was a beautician…” and she tries to continue on her sentence. I interrupt and I’m like “Why? Why did you just say that? Why would I never say you’re a beautician?” This is the part where I get a lump in my throat…
“Well because – of how I look.” 😢 She said this as if it was a fact set in stone. My heart.
“Have you even looked in the mirror? How old are you?” 56 she says. “Have you seen your skin, it’s smooth as silk. You have eyes as blue as the sky and beautiful long black and grey hair like Rogue from X-men and the most beautiful smile.”
In my head I’m going, “Where’s that mother fucker who told you you weren’t beautiful! Bring that bastard here!”
So I walked in that shop at 9.20am with an idea to dash in and out. I got home at 11.30am with some 40% off swimwear and a feeling of happiness and bliss because when I left that shop she knew what she needed to do.
Ignore all the bullshit that negative people have to say, look at all the skills you have and opportunities that are sitting right in front of your face, waiting for you to just simply SEE them and go “Oh wait… THIS IS AWESOME!”
So it turns out… wait for it… that one of her best friends also offered to be a silent partner and invest R100,000 into whatever she wants to do now… this literally happened last week, but she only remembered it again now – after having an uplifting conversation. Because last week when one of her best friends told her this, her vision was so clouded up with ‘it’s the worst time to start a business, especially in South Africa’, that she couldn’t see it.
The rabbit hole is deep friends, but it goes both ways – up or down. No matter how bright you shine your torch, if you’re looking down, your batteries will eventually die, but if you’re looking up, you won’t need your torch.
So take my advice please… it’s the best fucking time to start a business. Facebook is free and you have a cellphone yes? Then you have no excuses, unless you create them, or you don’t actually want to start a business, which is fine too. Just do what lights you up, that’s all you have to do.
And here is a little story about how to deal with negative comments from negative people:
Put on your catcher’s mitt – when someone throws negativity towards you – catch it in your mitt. Then look at it. Ask yourself “Is this definitely true, maybe true or not true?” If it’s definitely true, then maybe it’s just a fact of life and can’t be changed and then so be it. If it’s maybe true, then keep it and think about it for a while until you decide if it’s true or not. If it’s not true, throw it away and carry on with your life.
I hope that you will take the opportunity to get your head out of the rabbit hole for at least a little while, because it’s really much more warm and fun and happy out here in the light.
Ignorance may be bliss, but you know, maybe that’s just what some of us need right now. So that we can actually see the goodness, let it blossom for just a tiny bit so we can start to feel good… and then create more. The lens through which you view the world, is the one that will shape your reality. Always.