Motherhood

It was all worth it, for this one moment.

My best friend is currently 38 weeks pregnant. I see her cute big bump as she waddles around uncomfortably, waiting… and waiting… I remember those days. They seemed to go on forever and ever. I remember thinking to myself: “Just arrive already! Let’s do this baby!” But I don’t think anyone can really be ‘ready’ for that first baby.

Those first few weeks are still a blur, I don’t remember anything with much clarity, or sanity. All I have to go by are the 1 million photos I took. Thank goodness for instagram filters that at least helped to make me look half sleep deprived in my selfies.

I definitely had some really dark moments though, call it PND if you like, I call it “becoming a Mom” and I think it’s perfectly normal for any new Mom to feel somewhat depressed after everything she has been through, but I remember the one thing that used to really get to me. Whenever Mom friends who were further down the line than me would see me stressing out, they’d say things like, “shame babe, don’t worry, it’s tough now, but it’s so worth it.” I would smile back and say, “thanks, I know, it’s just so hard sometimes.” But what I really meant was, “take your toddler and your easy going attitude and shove it, this baby is possessed!

To be honest, I don’t think it actually gets easier. Every new month presents new challenges and with that, some of the older challenges become less new and so you get used to them and become more accepting. As your baby grows and changes, so do you. It’s such a crazy, wild journey and I think the older and more responsive our babies become, the more those first few difficult weeks fade away.

I never thought I’d be one of those Mom’s passing on the reassurance that, “trust me, it’s all worth it!” but then this morning, when he woke up next to me, he saw that I was still sleeping. He sat up, took his dummy out his mouth and shoved it in my mouth (rude awakening!) and then gave me his beloved bunny to shnuggle. He looked so proud of himself, like a real little person, as if he was thinking, “shame, she’s still asleep, and I’m awake, let me give her my tools.

His beloved dummy & bunny!

We are so blessed to be able to watch our little monkeys become real little humans, they do the funniest things and have the funniest reactions. Even some of his tantrums make me proud these days, he gets really creative! So if you’re having a tough Mom moment today – you can trust me when I say, it’s sooo worth it.

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